Visitors Review

Jim Lane (2012-05-25 22:44)

None of the actors is identified until the very end of the credits; in fact, it would have been a kindness not to name them at all, so I won't here.

badfinger17 (2012-05-25 18:02)

Give A Slasher Film A Chance.

Why did I give this movie a rating of 8? Because I am a huge horrormovie buff who loves slasher movies. This movie is a throwback to the80's that produced several of these type of films. This film doesdeserve respect, in the fact it is better than the Friday the 13th filmthat came after the 3rd one and Halloween films that came after thesecond one. Its not great but it is pretty good, with good fx, OKacting and some memorable death scenes. This is a slasher movie with agood body count. The killer is well I think better than Jason, at leastwe like the guy before he becomes a killer and even then you feel sorryfor him and like him more. This movie deserved more publicity andabetter chance. Yes it could have used some touch ups on the script butits a fun slasher movie. It deserved better. Way better than the veryunscary film called CRY_WOLF. That was well boring and awful. this is amovie for true horror fans especially ones who miss the Rat3ed R daysof slasher / horror films. Just remember not fantastic or inspiringthan Halloween, Scream or Friday the 13th but its good at hanging withthe best of them and to put it nicely if this came out in the earlyeighties instead of rooting for Jason in the Friday films we'd probablybe rooting for this guy in slasher films.

boyinflares (2012-05-24 18:56)

A modern-day return to Horror of the 1980's

"Venom" is one of the more unique horrors to come out in recent yearsin that it feels just like you are watching a horror flick from thereigning hey-day of horrors, the 1980's. While the premise is nothingnew, it is done in a slick fashion that keeps the viewer entertained.The cast is a mixed bunch, admittedly I am not familiar with some ofthem, they either are not very good, or they just played theircharacters poorly. Take Agnes Bruckner for example. She plays the"heroine", Eden, but she is about the most uninteresting character inthe whole film, not to mention as far as horror-heroines go, she is notvery resourceful. Similarly, Jonathan Jackson seems like an unusualchoice for male-lead, but he is rather surprising in that his characteris very well-rounded in terms of personality and resourcefulness. LauraRamsey is terrific as Rachel, Eden's best friend - that is, until shegoes rather crazy, then her character is just annoying. D.J. Cotronaplays Sean, the resident hottie, and he is also one of the moreinteresting characters due to his connections with the teens' enemy,giving him more story than several of the others, and making him moreinteresting than the leads. Meagen Good doesn't get much screen time,but due to her connections also, she plays one of the more interestingcharacters, Cece. Rounding out the main group of teens is Pawel Szajdawho plays Ricky, and worthy of note not simply because Ricky is gay,but because he is a normal gay character, something still rare in films(where gay characters are either ugly, victimized constantly, or onlythere as comic relief), though increasingly in horror films gaycharacters are being depicted as normal, and often more interestingthan other characters (see also the recent film Tobe Hooper's"Mortuary").Rick Cramer plays the possessed villain in the film, Ray, and does avery good job. An interesting location, nice scenery, some frighteningscenes and a cool score make for a fun film that pays tribute to thehorror of the 80's. Also, just when you think you know who is going tosurvive (the terrible unfortunate motif of recent years when youalready know the heroine and the hero will survive) there is a surpriseturn. Highly enjoyable, albeit somewhat underplayed.

Luke Y. Thompson (2012-05-24 09:28)

The final showdown between sole survivor and killer is sufficiently well-done that you wonder why the rest of the film didn't measure up.

(2012-05-24 03:05)

Stupid, but fun.

Venom (Jim Gillespie, 2005)Venom is a trite, but cute, serial-killer-stalks-young-and-beautifuls-and-eliminates-them-one-by-one flick. You've seen it all a million times. All screenwriters Dille and Platten, collaborators on a number of videogame scripts, did with the basic premise was slap some voodoo trappings on it. And yet, it's not a complete waste of celluloid, despite having what may be the single lowest weekend gross of any film in history on its last weekend on the big screen (on five screens, it grossed [...]. I kid you not).The movie centers on Eden (The Woods' Agnes Bruckner), though I can never figure out why other than "this movie needs a young-and-beautiful we can show a lot." It opens with an interestingly shot, but generally useless, cemetery scene that kind of introduces us to the woman we will eventually come to know as Cece's Grandmother, for that's the only way you'll ever hear her referred to. Cece's grandmother digs something up, but on her way home with it, she gets involved in an accident that takes her life, along with that of the local harmless outcast, Ray Walsh (Rick Cramer, recently in The Battle of Shaker Heights). Ray gets himself mixed up with what it is Cece's Grandmother dug up, through no fault of his own, and things get nasty after that. From there, it's another of those "the suspense comes from trying to figure out who's going to survive, but we already know" kinds of things.It's painfully predictable, with the kind of teen-hip dialogue that sounds as if a couple of old guys were trying to sound like teenagers. (Well, guess what?) Still, if you have to watch these kinds of films-- or, if for some reason, you prefer them to more solid fare-- Venom is not a terrible addition to the canon. It's at least halfway intelligent and does contain a few uncomfortable chuckles here and there, usually at the expense of the bad guy. It also runs a scant 85 minutes, which makes it mercifully shorter than most entires in the teen-serial-killer genre. That alone makes it a bit more worthwhile than most. Don't get your hopes up, though. ** ½

Bowling_King (2012-05-23 14:47)

What a common crap

I watched the movie because it bears the same name with a certainSpider Man villain in the comics. Well, it turned out to be a suck-assmovie with a bunch of teenagers screaming their head off.The movie started quite fine with the old and strange lady. Then itstarted to roll downhill after she died. That trucker died and cameback and started killing teenagers ??? Oh, my god... here it comes. Thebad guy runs around town (swamp here) kills any teenager (whichtypically wears very little) and brings their bodies back to some altarfor sacrifice.The victims which will usually scream at the top of their lungs andgets killed at the next scene. What kind of crap is this !!?? DOn'tpeople produce better quality stuff nowadays than run o the millkilling and maiming teenagers ?

Jessica Reaves (2012-05-23 03:09)

Jim Gillespie (I Know What You Did Last Summer) directs and while one might naively believe that the absence of Jennifer Love Hewitt would in itself predict an advance in moviemaking, one would be sadly mistaken.

kathy886 (2012-05-22 22:33)

Horrors

I liked it and thought it had a good story line. I really liked the Raycharacter he was pretty scary right from the start and just makes youthink about the don't judge a book by its cover saying. The effectswhere done well, the snakes were cool, and the acting was better thansome of the low budget movies I have seen. I've seen a lot of horrorsas I love a good horror and I enjoyed this one. People should stopbeing so fussy and just enjoy the movies, unless it is a shocker likelow budget ones usually are, Example: Vampire Assassins.I would recommend people that like horrors to see this movie.Kat.

dylanefry (2012-05-21 21:19)

Not Completely Horrible

This wasn't that bad. I mean it does have its ups and downs.The main thing I noticed is that the character just stand there andwatch as the killer is walking toward them with whats looks like a cariron. I mean honestly what were the characters thinking "Oh look hescoming toward up with a sharp metal object, lets stand here with scaredfaces and see who gets killed next." I just don't find that realrealistic.Other than that, I think it was a good movie. It was kind of sad thoughthat the only person who lived was the main girl. One of her friendsshould have lived. But then again I guess now she can go to college faraway and not have anything to come back for. Well accept her mother.

CrimsonOtter (2012-05-21 08:46)

Paint by numbers schlock horror.

I watched this last night, on the back of some okay reviews. Theproduction values were good, which was one of two reasons I stayed tothe end. The second was to see whether or not this was a complete paintby numbers horror movie. Without wanting to give anything away (watchthis for the requisite 3 minutes and you too could write the balance ofthe plot) but as the characters revealed themselves I caught myselfthinking "surely that guy's not just a plot device...", but he was, andthe rest goes down hill. It was one of those movies where the evilelement can't kill the kids off fast enough. In fact, I beganidentifying with the bad guy.Clearly they had a decent budget to bang this thing out with, some goodspecial effects, but they spent no time letting the story revealitself. There is too much exposition and no back story. It's okay tohave a movie where you need to suspend disbelief, but really - when youget told something and you think "but why would anyone do that?".So, I would advise giving this one a wide birth, sit down with a penand paper, or your PC, and knock out your own story line - basicallyyou need six or seven kids - around 17 or 18 so it's okay to show theirboobies, one has to be gay, another black, one has to be disaffected,another a jilted boyfriend or girlfriend, a couple of sluts, and yourhero / heroin - best make this person smart, white, good looking and apotential Albert Switzer so he/she can deal with various issues as theyarise. Think about 2 minutes on which scary object you want - if you'rehaving trouble just dig up Freddy, that guy with the hockey mask, or ofcourse a Zombie - don't whatever you do contemplate research or use abiblical reference - then pick the order in which you want to off thekids, and associated bystanders, and remember, if you've gone threepages with out a death or a nude shot, the audience is turning off.You'll need an environment for the killings to take place, pick one ofeither mountains or forest (the kids are off camping), a house (thekids are over for a sleep over), a school (the kids are staying backbecause someone's been bad), or an amusement park (the kids are stayingback to be naughty). This will reveal to you who your bad guy should be- then just pick are reason for why he's bad - bit by monkey, ate toxicburger, burnt by angry mob, scientific experiment, or the ever populatepossessed by evil spirit. If you want to be really creative have one ortwo kids grow during this, face a fear and become better people - thenof course knock them off....they are just getting in the way of thenext boobie shot.Whatever you came up with will be better than this movie, and you'llhave had a better time.

gulles101 (2012-05-21 03:31)

Venom

OK,Venom.............What can I say about Venom. First of all I couldof made this movie. Just get a couple of my friends together and castmy uncle as the damn monster. It seems to me thats what the crew behindthis catastrophe did. The plot not original. The acting,OK. Buthmmmmmmmmm, I wonder who this bad guy reminds me of......Let's see whatwas his name?.........the guy that kills with the hockey mask at thatlake that stupid kids keep going too even though they know that peopledie there all the time.........ummmmmm......oh yes JasonVorhees!!!!!!!!. And that other dude that strikes atHalloween......ummmmm Micheal Myers!!!!!!!!. As you can see the bad guyin this film is just the reincarnation of these infamous killers. Whilewatching this film Ithaught that it was going to end like twice. Andthe way this movie does end it seems that their may be a sequelcoming........great another flick thats going to be worst than thefirst. Thanks allot Hollywood!!!!!!!!!!!!.In the end Venom is just yourtypical teen slasher flick that people just made to make a quick buck.

(2012-05-20 09:01)

Same-old story

Jim Gillespie returns to the horror genre after I Know What You Did Last Summer with Venom, and not since Jeepers Creepers had I been this enthused about a horror icon, but then again we haven't had a supernatural killer since Jeepers anyway. What? You've never heard of this? No surprise, considering Dimension Films only released it to 489 theaters. They didn't even start promoting it or even bothered updating the official site until the last week of its release; typical for Dimension since they barely promote any of their films now-a-days. It's too bad, because this flick was made for horror fans plain and simple. It uses the same-old theme of teens fending for their lives, but gives it a hardcore twist, like for instance when they think they're safe in the house, the killer shoots out a hook through the window and pulls one of the guys outside. We're not dealing with some lame killer slowly stalking the victims in an old house one by one here. This brings me to my next point about his tow truck which was essentially also used as a secondary weapon. It's good to see that a he's not just using one weapon, although the crowbar was used a number of times. Previously titled "Backwater", the story takes place in a small town in Louisiana, where a tow-truck driver falls off a bridge with a car that had a box full of snakes. Apparently the snakes are part of a ritual that involves evil people who get their evil souls sucked out by snakes. This leads to the driver getting bit by the numerous snakes and essentially receive all the souls. Of course he doesn't survive the bites, but after he's declared dead, his corpse returns to kill anyone who stands in his way. Now it's up to the young teens to try and stop this inhuman being before it sheds anymore blood.Being a horror fan I really enjoyed this movie. It had cool deaths, good gore, and a badass character. There's no need for a thick storyline, when it's going back to old school hack-and-slash. I doubt we'll see a sequel considering Dimension doesn't care about it, but if there was one I'd see it.OVERALL A horror film for horror fans. Same-old story, but with a interesting new lead villian and cool deaths; mixed with decent gore. Check this enjoyable no-brainer slash-flick.

(2012-05-20 06:52)

Indie Horror Movie with Mystery/Voodoo/Friendship Themes

This review is from: Venom (DVD) Venom is a classic-style horror movie with elements of mystery, adventure and minimal gore. It is also an "Indie" type of movie, in that it stars a group of young actors with lots of energy, who are having fun, planning their lives (and getting killed-off:) I rated it a Nine within this context.The mystery theme, involving a group of young friends, reminds me of a Nancy Drew type story line. These young friends, with their whole lives ahead of them, are forced to learn about Voodoo quickly (to avoid getting killed-off:) The horror/Voodoo theme is well-known: A Voodoo Zombie is created when a dead body becomes "possessed" by a legion of escaped bad souls. These souls had previously been extracted from unfortunate victims and "confined" by a good Voodoo priestess during intervention/cleansing rituals. Unfortunately the bad souls escaped their confinement during an accident).The adventure theme is classic chase-and-kill: Obviously the Zombie is out for a hellish romp, and killing people left-and-right to strengthen it's evil occupants. Who is going to step-up and kick it's butt? This movie was deliberately made to be fun and entertaining, as well as provide some Voodoo folklore. A great Friday night romp in the swamp with an evil Zombie! Where Friends get to gather at Voodoo temples, get chased thru a bona-fide Louisiana Swamp, and often get to die!! There's even a hero at the end:)

Benoît A. Racine (2012-05-19 22:55)

Tubetop teen thriller packs powerful punch

I rented this DVD because – let's face it – there is nothing good outthere and it doesn't look like the situation is going to improve anytime soon… I was ready for a generic, mindless tubetop slasher film andthis is exactly what I got. The girl actors are pretty andinterchangeable and have been chosen for their ability to fill a pushupbra and emote using puffed-up lips curled into an uncomprehendingtrapeze-shape expression throughout. The downhome bayou atmosphericsare provided by exquisite location photography worthy of the "JeepersCreepers" franchise (and an Oscar nomination), bolstered by anincredibly high bitrate on DVD, and stupendous audio landscapes thatdeserve a feature-length film by themselves and more than make up forthe rental price. As usual in this kind of film, the confusion persistsbetween native New Orleans hoodoo and imported Haitian (in this case)voodoo. Every other supernatural aspect is invented and sounds as falseas the faux Creole lingo used without the benefit of a dialect coach.The main character of Ray is greatly enhanced by the solid presence ofRick Cramer who can boast macho gay porno movie star good looks buthere wears a scar on his left cheek, which, of course, makes him"creepy". The "F" and "S" words are used more than a hundred times invarious creative combinations during the 88 minutes of action, whichmanages to include a girl-boy misunderstanding subplot, atrailer-trash-mallrat-sluts-getting their-comeuppance scene and adrunk-teen-oedipal-revolt-against-the-father-image mini-scene, threedevices which are now probably required by law in this kind ofentertainment. The end result is a rather superior sadistic romp thatis way ahead of its generic counterparts in terms of production valuesbut thankfully remains miles removed from the record-breakingdegeneracy of the current box-office smash "Hostel", which, by allreports, cannot be topped when it comes to gross-out, morbidlysoul-destroying chills. And that, in our imperfect world, is just theway it should be.

Jacques Habra (2012-05-17 22:45)

Venom - Katrina

I haven't seen the film yet, but plan to.Thing is, it was shot 90 miles outside of New Orleans, and since it hassuch a water theme going, there's probably lots of interestingdovetails to think through. I doubt the filmmakers thought aboutKatrina's devastation while making it, but now that it's happened, noone can refute the irony.Also, if the film does get some momentum, maybe the filmmakers willdonate a small percentage towards relief efforts since it was shot in astate that used to give such tremendous credits and is now struggling. Just my .02 cents...J

(2012-05-17 12:06)

Modern Slasher That Satisfies

This review is from: Venom (DVD) "Venom " is one of those movies I thought I would hate because I heard so much negativity about it but I really enjoyed it ,being a fan of the 70's and 80's slashers I crave newer versions because I have seen all the other ones over and over again.Venom did NOT disappoint me.It starts off with action and never lets up.I found it to be one of my favorite new horror/slasher flicks,The voodoo angle was good but not overplayed ,I'm simple in that I want to see a killer with an axe , machete butcher knife etc not a bunch of supernatural mumbo jumbo..I don't want to have to wonder" was that a dream or was it real~!!" As so many movies these days play off of.Give me an old fashioned slice and dice and I'm in heaven.and Venom gave me that , So I hope to see Venom 2 ,if so ,I'm there(For the record, Mr Jangles used the hook & Chain before Kane in see No Evil...)..

Michael_Elliott (2012-05-16 19:24)

Not Bad

Venom (2005) ** (out of 4) A voodoo woman is killed in an accident and the man trying to save hergets bitten by her thirteen deadly snakes. This turns him into a ragingkiller who begins to stalk some teens in the Louisiana swamps. Thisthing got a small theatrical release a couple years ago and I wassomewhat shocked to see that it wasn't too bad. The film is a throwbackto the slashers of the 1980's and features quite a bit of blood andsome rather mean spirited violence. The performances a tad bit betterthan you'd expect and the director manages a few good scenes includingthe opening accident. The film eventually starts to run out of gasaround the half point, which makes the second half slow going at timesbut you could do a lot worse.

scaryflashlight (2012-05-16 11:31)

"Can't you like, demilk him with a ritual or something?"

Yes, said title line does actually appear in this movie. Why? I'm notsure. When the line was actually being said, didn't somebody in thecrew filming, at some point, laugh? I would have liked to see theouttakes from this movie, mostly because I think they would be moreentertaining than the movie itself.Helmed by director Jim Gillespie, ("I Know What You Did Last Summer,")comes a teen slasher movie that seems to assume we haven't ever seen ateen slasher movie before. Of course, he's not to be given all theblame. There are also three writers responsible, and this is somehowbased on a video game that's still in production. The title of saidgame is "Backwater," but upon looking for information on it I came upwith absolutely nothing.And so we begin the movie... I would like to say before I continue thatI wasn't expecting this to win an Oscar. When I am in the rightmindset, I enjoy a fun horror movie to pass the time. I think thereexists an opportunity for an effective, original, and smart slashermovie. "Venom" is not this movie.There is almost no character development at all. That's fine. You don'texpect a whole lot. However, instead of a well-knit cast of a few, thismovie decides to introduce us to the following many horror movie clichécharacters...1. The Final Girl: She has just broken up for her boyfriend. This meansthat at some point in the movie when they are in peril, they willdecide to get back together again. Which more than likely means he willdie and she will be the last remaining survivor of the movie. "Eden" isplayed by Agnes Bruckner, without much enthusiasm, I might add.2. The Boyfriend: He's just around to co-exist with The Final Girluntil his demise. Sure, he can save her, but he's doomed and we knowit. "Eric" is played by Jonathan Jackson.3. The Bimbos: Usually horror movies only feel the need for one ofthese, but here we have two. They shoplift, they steal, they might showtheir breasts, (not in this case,) or they might possibly bealcoholics. A staple of the genre. They also wander around in dimly litareas all on their lonesome, usually saying things like, "Hello? Isthere anybody there?" "Tammy" and "Patty," suitably named, are playedby Bijou Phillips and Davetta Sherwood.4. The Jackass: Sure, he looks pretty, but he's the idiot in the moviethat's inserted purely to be an idiot. He says stupid things, doesstupid things, has obviously never seen a horror movie, and is one ofenjoyable kills you watch this kind of thing for. "Sean" is played byD.J. Cotrona.5. The Girlfriend: She loves the Jackass even though pretty much nobodyelse does, and she's usually the one left alive for a while so she canscream and cry until she starts tripping and gets left behind. "Rachel"is played by Laura Ramsey.6. The Creepy Janitor: In this case, The Creepy Gas Station Attendant.Enough said. "Ray" is played by Rick Cramer.I could continue, but I think you get the picture. The remainingcharacters aren't so much common as they are equally killable. There's"The Gay Guy," (Pawel Szajda as "Ricky,") who definitely got robbed asfar as screen time is concerned, and "The One Who Knows What's GoingOn." Of course none of that matters, because at first everyone alwaysthinks that one's crazy. "Cece" is played by Meagan Good.There are a couple other characters, namely a deputy played by MethodMan, but he and others are killed off pretty quickly and get even lesscharacter development than the following clichés.So, you're probably thinking, "why does this movie require such a deepanalysis? It's just a summer horror flick, for cryin' out loud!" Basedon that question, does it deliver the goods? Yes, and no. The actingisn't particularly convincing, even given the amount of talentinvolved. Bijou Phillips was hailed for her performance in LarryClark's Bully, and Agnes Bruckner has been an up-and-coming talent fora while now.So, what about the gore? There's some. That's really about it. A lot ofthe juiciest bits are cut-aways. Namely a scene involving somebody'sface and a sandblaster used to remove paint from cars.To the filmmaker's credit, there are a couple interesting scenes. Iliked the bit where part of a house was literally ripped off so thatthe unstoppable villain could get to the characters.If this had all been centered around a smarter screenplay in which thecharacters didn't make the same dumb mistakes literally hundreds ofhorror movie characters had made before them, it might have made for amore enjoyable experience. All of the most interesting characters areimmediately killed off in the first third of the movie and then it justbecomes a not-particularly-interesting countdown until we know it'sjust The Creepy Janitor and The Final Girl.I suppose I must be a little jaded, but as a horror film fan, I'm leftwondering why I should have bothered when I could easily have written abetter screenplay myself. I won't even mention the numerous instancesof terrible CGI.

vze3tndu (2012-05-15 05:43)

This Movie is pure $hite

I saw this movie at a free NYC screening back in June , And I must saythat this movie totally sucks. Such a recycled plot, characters looklike they had stepped out of a WB TV show. The Reaper looks like DolfLundren bathed in mud(totally z grade special effects). All the deathscenes weren't even scary or funny , except one which involves asspeeding truck and a tree impalement. I hated this movie along witheverybody at the screening. I give it two big watery bowels down!! Whathorror movies need is a hard R rating, Mature characters, and brutaldeath scenes that do not shy away from the screens.If you want to see a good movie , see the Devils Rejects, High Tensionor wait for Slither.

(2012-05-14 17:03)

You Gotta Be Kidding!

Before I bash this movie, let's start with a positive. Hollywood had it right when they previewed this trailer during the Exorcism of Emily Rose. They showed about 90 seconds of no named actors screaming for their life in the swamp lands of Louisiana. Finally, a horror movie where we really don't know the actors and don't care how they die as long as they...well, die. So bring in Venom. Venom did have a lot of promise in the beginning. Boy and girl meet on bridge, she wants to leave her homeland and he wants to stay. Bring in guy with big truck who owns gas station down the road. Tells them the bridge is not a safe place to be (tragic foreshadowing maybe?) While we are making a schmorgazborg here, let's bring in a woman driving psychotically with a suitcase in the back of her car. As fate would have it, she hits the side of the bridge and we are left with our first situation: how do we get her out of the car without it tipping over? So the brave trucker guy decides to be the brave one and help her out (We can't have Jonathan Jackson dying in the first 2 minutes now can we?) and she wants him to take out the suitcase. **SPOILER** Okay if there were snakes in the suitcase that are supposed to "suck the evil out of you" maybe they should have done two things: 1) Substitute leeches, they can't attack anything in a one foot radius since they are slower than turtles or 2) LET THE DAMN THING DROWN! If they are stuck in a suitcase inside of a car in the river, do you think they can do any damage? But no, we have to have a reason to go on, and our trucker friend falls victim to drowning and the snakes and goes overboard...How Titanic. What happened, Celine Dion was too busy in Vegas to sing "My Heart Will Go On" as he plummeted? Carrying on, the body is retrieved from the river and who is once believed to be dead is now brought back from the dead, rotting decay and all. One by one he starts taking out no name victims that we really don't care about. Honestly, I was thrilled to pieces (heh, no pun intended) when he wiped those two so called popular girls out. But during all of this, one friend (Meagan Good - the only other actress people will recognize) is hiding a secret from everyone. She knows that this monster (I can't say Shape because that's Halloween) is going around killing and she knows some kind of voodoo or creole magic that might be able to stop it. Great, call the Charmed Ones and have them fly from San Francisco and you are all set! If only things were that easy for her. Using the trucker's son as a voodoo doll, they try to stop the beast but soon begin to run out of ideas. Now here's dilemma number 2: How do you kill something all ready dead? Unfortunately, this leads to more deaths from actors and actresses that we could care less if they fell in a well or had their limbs removed. Eventually we are lead to a cemetary where trucker dude is doing some rituals inside of a tomb area or what not. Our heroine lies with all her dead friends as she watches loverboy get tossed in there with her. What's this? He's awake?! Will there be two survivors? No. Heroine doesn't know how to shut her mouth when she gasps, causing possessed Linda Blair in trucking attire to go after her. But love is a funny thing and Jonathan Jackson takes one for the team. Somehow after his death, our heroine is now bad ass and all empowered. Apparently it takes the death of a true loved one to really pump you up. So now she decides to play the Jessica Biel Texas Chainsaw Massacre roll and tries to wail on our villan. Heh, once again he's dead. It finally takes her decapitating him with his own truck to finally get this jerk to die. So what have we learned kiddies? 1) Never get upset if you are not popular in school. Some psycho re-emerged from the swamps will take them out for you. Use your energy for protecting yourself from his wrath next. 2) If you know someone who is into voodoo, do not hang out with them. A sure indication of this would be weird looking necklaces with the skulls of animals on it followed by a horrible braiding job. Stay out of at least a five mile radius from their house. If you hear a scream, just assume the Jamabalaya is too hot. 3) Never wait until your loved one dies to finally take action. I am sure if Jonathan Jackson could have been resurrected too he would have went Charles Manson on his little sweetheart. Two people fighting one villan is easier than one scared wimp. 4) If you are in Blockbuster and wanting to find a good horror movie, skip over both Venom and Dark Water. You could probably find more chills from Scream or Scary Movie for that matter.