Visitors Review

brianhelfrich (2012-05-24 00:58)

An atrocity of unbelievable magnitude

Woodyanders is a tool. I created this account out of anger, solely towarn others from having to endure what I just witnessed.This movie is about as enjoyable as watching a dog defecate. I hated itwith the fiery passion of a thousand suns and felt compelled to saveyou, dear reader, the time.I read the IMDb review by Woodyanders titled 'An excellent and excitingpost-nuke sci-fiction/action winner' and expected at least aninteresting movie. Instead, I got to watch some of the least capableactors/actresses who clearly couldn't act their way out of a paper bag.The plot was atrocious and the dialog appeared to be written by achild. The movie fell flat on it's face on absolutely every level andwe have some of the worst camera-work in history to save it forposterity. This movie is so incredibly bad that I hope it ruins thecareers of everyone involved.

biggm (2012-05-23 16:55)

Worse then a dentist drilling...

I like the title and plot premise. They suggest a distaff homage to MadMax, and 1970's drive-in movie monuments of mayhem.Sadly, Warriors of the Apocalypse is only useful as a primer foreverything that is wrong with contemporary actioners. I can tolerate(and even have some affection for) silly scripts, dopey dialogue, hammyor wooden acting, but the incoherent camera work and editing here ispositively painful. Furthermore, there isn't enough well staged actionor suspense to sustain a three minute Youtube video.I wish movie merchandisers would refrain from rewardingmorons-with-cameras with distribution deals. This particular productionwould earn an F grade even as a middle school film project.Warriors of the Apocalypse is crude enough to give sex n' violence abad name. Beware!

jourosevic (2012-05-22 15:47)

Why make this horrible waste of time.

Please save yourself the vomit and don't watch this movie! I read the wrong review and got tricked into watching it.The review must have been posted by the deluded fool who made it.I feel cheated and violated and now I know, read all the reviews.It's not just the bad acting, or the pathetic effects; The whole timingis out and the editing is just sloppy, done with absolutely noattention to detail.If you want a good laugh, get drunk, get some friends together and pokefun at a movie that should never have been made.well maybe by a ten year old and if so never, ever, released!Well first post hope it save somebody the wasted time.

Woodyanders (2012-05-22 11:31)

An excellent and exciting post-nuke sci-fi/action winner

A rough'n'tumble bunch of female warriors -- two-fished Luca (ravishingbrunette Darian Caine), the equally tough Spring (cute blonde PamelaSutch), scrappy Vick (foxy Amara Offhaus), and the resilient Carrie(lovely Renee Porada) -- do their best to stay alive in a harshwasteland that's been devastated by a nuclear war. The gals try to findthe last remaining city left following the big blast. However, ruthlessdictator Rollins (nicely played with wicked aplomb by Debbie D) sends ateam of bloodthirsty mercenaries to kill the ladies in order to controlthe population. A pretty standard premise for sure, but fortunatelywriter/director Lee Kabasinski handles said story with a substantialamount of skill and flair: the brisk pace rarely let's up for a minute,there's plentiful graphic gore,a sizable smattering of tasty distaffnudity, a handful of vicious cannibalistic zombie mutants, and even asmidgen of lurid soft-core sex, the rousing shoot-outs and fierceknock-down, drag-out martial arts fights are staged with considerablerip-snorting brio (a big confrontation between the gals and themercenaries in an automobile junkyard rates as an especially tense,thrilling, and impressive set piece), the CGI effects are generallyacceptable, and the roaring hard rock soundtrack totally smokes.Moreover, the game and able cast play the material with admirablegusto: Caine and Sutch are great fun in the leads (it's a real pleasureto see Darian in particular mix it up in her action scenes), plusthere's stand-out work by Brian Anthony as rugged and vengeful fighterHarris, Leon South (a.k.a. director Kabasinski) as cold-bloodedmercenary Largent, Brian Heffron as brutish thug Krieg, and DeannaVisalle as the formidable Zorn. The polished cinematography gives thepicture a neat slick look (I really dug the brief use of split screenin one scene). Jeff Hawthorne's lively and stirring score does theright-on pumpin' trick. A very cool and enjoyable flick.