Visitors Review

Josh-hodgetts (2012-05-23 23:45)

Zombie Driftwood... More like, i driftwooded away from this film! Errr....

First off, one of the lead actors in this film is KazBxx, don't knowher? well shes a failed pornstar, and a failed prostitute! Im not evenkidding. So shes more than perfect for a place in this film. Anyways...Zombie Driftwood, my god. This film is one of the worse pieces ofcinema.. excuse me, media that i have ever saw! and trust me, when itcomes to bad movies, i know my "Troll 2's" to my "Birdemics" This film is so obvious in trying to make this a horror at thebeginning, with the lengthy introductions to each individualcharacters, but then there must of been a turning point in the filmwhere everyone just thought: "Fuck it, lets make a comedy!", and inthat respect they did. But not in the: "Oh look, a zombie just pulledoff his cock!" (The audience laugh) and more in the "Oh look, a zombiejust pulled off his cock!" (the audience have a giggle about howimmature the film makers can be and everyone dies a little on theinside.)So yeah, overall this movie is just rubbish. Watch my review on ityoutube if you want to see what im talking about:Zombie Driftwood (2010) Review - Silent JoshApart from that guys, i feel dirty just talking about this film.again...

miss_deth_addict (2012-05-22 13:54)

Surprisingly entertaining

I expected the worst when I started this movie, I really didconsidering the low rating and the bad reviews this movie received.Well I was pleasantly surprised when this movie turned out to be quiteentertaining.OK if you don't enjoy vulgar humour and poor word plays you might notwant to watch this movie but if you don't take zombie movies seriouslythis one is an entertaining cheesy movie. Few winks for the metalheadsis always appreciated on my side and so are the few new ideas thismovie exploited. Not a classic but still worth watching if you want myopinion.

thrashing69 (2012-05-20 07:36)

4th person to give a real review. Keep 'em coming

I wish ratings went into the negatives, because that's the rating thisfilm deserves. I'll give the tiniest credit to it and say it startedoff not too bad. But than the zombies arrive, and oh my God.... theawfulness of it. This movie invents a new level of cheese in it'sjokes. Zombie's drinking beer, buying t-shirts, having a metal concert,i could go on and on. To put it simply, there are so many bad things about this movie thatcome to mind, that I can't even keep my mind focused on one thing oranother to write this review properly.Also, It is pretty low to come here and write great reviews for yourown film. You are just telling people that you know it's bad, and youdon't expect anybody to say anything positive. It's just better to bowyour head, admit you made a bad film, learn from the experience, andmove on. Admitting that it's bad and learning from it can only make youa better film maker.

Knighthawk701 (2012-05-17 01:20)

Some humor involved

The story is simple. Zombies flood a holiday isle. A group of peopleare trapped in a bar were a band plays. Lots of people get eaten.This is a zombie-humor flick. But some of the humor is quite childish,some is brilliant.This is a UK movie, and sometimes they still mention the war. So a fewzombies are German and they invade the beach and take all the seats.For US viewers that may be nothing comical, but I think most Europeansget that joke.Also there is a lot of political correctness in the UK within thepolice force. They also make fun of that in the movie. Most peoplewould fire away at zombies, not the police there. They want to arrestthe zombies and be almost polite to them. Also the zombies protestingfor their rights are funny, as is Zombie TV! The movie is not great orthat bad, just some good laughs if you are in a good mood. The actingis not bad actually, the quality of filming is good too.Note: watch the scrolling text at the new bulletins, some great stuffis being typed there (experts agree that taking sleeping pills andlaxatives at the same time is not a good idea...)

javier1976 (2012-05-17 08:30)

Beyond bad...

I like bad movies, I really do. Of the "so bad it's good" kind. This isNOT one of them. It is plain awful. It has no redeeming qualitieswhatsoever. They attempted to make a zombie comedy (a la Shaun of theDead, Tokyo zombie or even Zombies of mass destruction) but failedmiserably. They try too hard. There isn't a single funny moment. Thetwo "actresses" are anything but sexy, even in the few scenes when theytry to be. The "music" drowns out a lot of the movie's dialog. Not thatyour are going to miss much, but it can get annoying. The whole thingseems to be an attempt to make some friend's rock band known. They evenhave a show in the middle of the zombie onslaught. The zombies "talk"(they mumble and they included some moronic lines that they act out)and go to restaurants to eat "finger food" (hands) or drink human bloodout of a skull. They make TV shows. There is even zombie Hitler... Justpathetic Don't be fooled by the reviews posted by the director'sfriends or by the somewhat cool cover art. If only you could givenegative points I would, it's THAT bad.

Josh-hodgetts (2012-05-15 03:44)

Zombie Driftwood... More like, i driftwooded away from this film! Errr....

First off, one of the lead actors in this film is KazBxx, don't knowher? well shes a failed pornstar, and a failed prostitute! Im not evenkidding. So shes more than perfect for a place in this film. Anyways...Zombie Driftwood, my god. This film is one of the worse pieces ofcinema.. excuse me, media that i have ever saw! and trust me, when itcomes to bad movies, i know my "Troll 2's" to my "Birdemic". This film is so obvious in trying to make this a horror at thebeginning, with the lengthy introductions to each individualcharacters, but then there must of been a turning point in the filmwhere everyone just thought: "Fuck it, lets make a comedy!", and inthat respect they did. But not in the: "Oh look, a zombie just pulledoff his cock!" (The audience laugh) and more in the "Oh look, a zombiejust pulled off his cock!" (the audience have a giggle about howimmature the film makers can be and everyone dies a little on theinside.)So yeah, overall this movie is just rubbish. Watch my review on ityoutube if you want to see what im talking about:Zombie Driftwood (2010) Review - When Bad Movies Attack!Apart from that guys, i feel dirty just talking about this film.again...

Sgt Hatred (2012-05-10 00:32)

Original and very funny .

This is a very unusual and very funny film . It turns the usual idea ofa zombie movie on it's head and introduces the idea of a bureaucraticresponse to an zombie attack on a tropical tourist island . The zombiesare preserved by the passing of a law protecting the undead tourists .The acting is superb and the gags just keep coming . I was at theLondon screening on 19th November and heard the laughter rolling roundthe cinema a rare thing in the cinema these days .There are elements ofMonty Python, Spike Milligan and even Carry On and I loved thesoundtrack with the heavy metal band introduced by Adolf Hitler on theZ Fuctor .

Kevin Haddow (2012-05-09 07:25)

Very poor, a waste of nearly an hour and a half.

I can only think those reviews giving this film good marks were writtenby the production staff. This film is really not very good, and I lovezombie movies, even many low budget ones. The acting is absoluterubbish, and probably spoils the film more than anything else. Thespecial effects are the kind pretty much any college film students cansurpass.Do yourself a favour and avoid this, there are much funnier, betteracted and scarier low budget zombie movies out there, such as Fido andDario Argento's Demons 1&2 from way back in the 80s. It kind of sayssomething about how bad this is, that it is far worse than low budgetzombie films that are approaching 30 years old. Half of the audience atthe horror film festival went for something to eat, or catch up on somesleep, rather than watch this appalling film and I can't say I blamethem, I wish I had too.Seriously, avoid.

mail-918-800986 (2012-05-04 21:17)

Really funny

This was a really funny film, I was pleasantly surprised. Saw thepremier in London and I enjoyed it MUCH more than I expected to to behonest, and so did everyone round me - loads of chuckling going on.Heavy soundtrack but sort of fits in, lots of running jokes with oldrockers so not just for young people. I think the bar man steals the show. CAn't believe it's so low budget -I mean it's obviously low budget but it doesn't look it - theproduction looks really classy (if that's possible with a zombie film!) Yes it's a weird concept but it works, and you don't have to be azombie freak to enjoy it.

Spring-Heel-Jack (2012-04-28 12:53)

Douchebags on Spring Break

Worthless crap.I usually don't comment on anything as poor as this, but thesock-puppets who reviewed this film fooled me into watching it. If Ican save even a single person this embarrassment, I must try. Braincells are at stake.This film might have been more impressive had it been directed by an 8year old- though I'd still make sure someone kept him away from camerasin the future. I'd also recommend he be given a thorough examination bya child developmental specialist.The film claims to be funny- the only 'humor' comes from postproduction fart sounds littered throughout and, I suppose, the dancingof the female 'actors'.The zombie make-up appears to be made from red paint and a wastedchicken dinner.The actors are unlikable, untalented and unwatchable. The two 'sex'scenes have the participants fully clothed and are about as hot as anepisode of 'The Golden Girls'.The hour and 12 min running time is padded out with cheap animationwhich is the best part of the production.

k_imdb-919-677255 (2012-04-26 14:51)

Comic zombie horror at it's finest

If you are a fan of zombie classics such as Night of the living deadand Shaun of the Dead, like myself, you'll find this movie a nostalgicride through zombie filled comic moments. The producers have gone allout on the comedy aspect of the genre and have brought the zombies tolife, not just humanising them, but giving them personalities in aunique fashion that sets the movie aside from other zombie classics.Unlike many zombie movies which are stylistically dark and gloomy,Zombie Driftwood is set on the beautiful Island of Grand Caymen. Aparadisal contrast to the carnage that takes place, and plenty of comicrelief off sets the more gruesome moments! It's also good to see thecast were not afraid to get their kit off and there is plenty of nudityfrom the cast, as well as some much needed sex scenes between the 4lovers! This movie will undoubtedly procure a cult following due toit's thrashing metal soundtrack, cameo and live performances fromOctober file, it's original take on zombie behaviour and it's fun andlovable characters, including the cynical barman, the lovable drunk,&the zombie tourists!

paully73 (2012-04-25 22:39)

Warning - Don't watch this utter rubbish

To start off I have a very high tolerance for crap horror movies butthis had no redeeming features whatsoever. As a comedy it wasincredibly devoid of humour, the jokes they did have - zombies takingover the film studio - were so over-worked that by the time you've seenthem for the third time I can't imagine anyone would be laughing. WhereI thought this film might excel, but didn't ,was as a schlock horrorfilm but here still the gore was severely lacking. Don't listen to the obvious reviews of those of who were involved withthe film. So what if it cost them xx£ to make; a cheap crap film, isstill a balls film.

man-who-watches-crap (2012-04-20 01:21)

What is wrong with you people?

This is hilarious!!! There are so many gags hidden in this movie. Fromthe ticker tape under the news reader to all the undead jokes throughit, it is just hilarious. My whole family was screaming with laughterwatching it. The premise is simple. Cruise ship disappears in BermudaTriangle, turns up empty and then the passengers come ashore as undead.They don't quite understand what has happened, so as well as eatingpeople they still do all the touristy stuff, like drinking, dancing andbuying souvenirs. The zombies get influence in the media and governmentand make laws to stop them being shot out of hand. Just watch it, it'sso funny. This is so much better than Shaun.

mike McKowski (2012-04-15 12:19)

don't bother........ really,....... don't.

i'm glad i bought this film from a Chinese DVD pirate and none of my 2quid will make it to the pockets of the talentless fools who made thiscrap, couldn't even watch it all, a hundred grand to make? i could makea better zombie film for 0.01% of that, filmed on my phone using aldiketchup for blood. it's completely unfunny, and dio Will be rolling inhis metal grave to have his name associated with such drivel, don't getme wrong the concept could be amazing, voodoo zombies in the Caribbean,Bermuda triangle etc, even if done B movie style, independent film canbe so much better than this for an even smaller budget, it seems likethe filmmakers just spent the 100K on a holiday for themselves ratherthan to make a decent film, some peoples lack of any basic talent isamazing, following me round on one of my holidays would make for a farmore interesting film

(2012-04-10 17:14)

Zombie Driftwood = $h!T

AVOID THIS LIKE THE PLAGUE! Just atrocious, I cannot stress enough howawful this movie is. Only a quote said by Black Adder can express howthis movie was: "It started badly, it tailed off a little in the middleand the less said about the end the better." This movie has the pace ofa snail. Everything seemed to be stretched out to fill time. Thecharacters were completely unlikable, as if they were scraped out ofthe bottom of the douche bag swamp. The effects used throughout thefilm could easily be outdone by any kindergarten level arts and craftslesson. Nothing throughout the movie could even be construed as comedy.Just absolutely unfunny. This is a bad movie and everyone involvedshould feel bad.

flint_151 (2012-04-08 12:55)

just no.

Definitely the sh*ttiest film i've ever seen. I literally just registered so i can warn people just how bad it is, ireally wish that you could vote less than 1 star.Rubbish plot line, ridiculous acting,really shoddy acting and stupidhumour. I'm sure it's trying to promote the sh*tty metal band featured in it.It tries to make the girls in it sexy even though the blonde one is astubby chubby whore and the other chick is just annoying. It's also quite racist in a few parts. I hated this even more thanTwilight, and i f**king despise Twilight. Waste of time, don't bother downloading it, it's a waste of film space.

Paul Haakonsen (2012-04-07 21:53)

Very weird zombie movie...

I watched "Zombie Driftwood" with no clue what it was about or whatkind of movie it was, aside from it being a zombie movie. And being azombie aficionado, I decided to give this movie a go. It didn't takevery long before you come to realize that this is a zombie comedy, butnot of the high end production.The good thing in the movie was its originality, and they had put someeffort into the movie. And the sets were nice as well."Zombie Driftwood" is not driven by a very potent story. It is fairlyweak actually, a cruise ship stands on the shores of the CaymanIslands, and suddenly the island is flooded with zombies. But you neversee the zombie actually come out of the massive ship! And most zombieswere walking like they just had been probed by aliens. It was painfulto watch some of the zombie shamble about like they were on fire andhad to sneak through a meth-lab.For being a low budget movie with unknown actors and actresses, I willsay that most actually did a decent enough job, though there were theoccasional horrible acting performance to be seen here and there.Now, I am a metal-head myself and listen to nothing but metal. But thechoice of music in this movie, like the title track, for example, wasso out of place. It was too brutal for a movie, and it just didn't workthat well. The zombie concert, however, worked out nicely, and it hadjust enough bad comedy in it to work.I didn't understand the obsession with metal band t-shirts. Why didthey have to be everywhere? Did the producer like metal music? If so,point taken and we got it already.The zombie make-up, despite it being simple and low budget, it workedwell enough. Keep in mind that this is not a massive blockbuster moviewith a budget that most people doesn't see in a whole lifetime ofworking. So thumbs up for this.And for a comedy, there weren't really any laughs to be found in themovie. Sure there were some scenes and moments that had comedypotential, but not to the point of breaking laughs. In the wake of"Shaun of the Dead", then "Zombie Driftwood" doesn't even reach up tothe knees of Shaun...They should have chosen not to have a zombie Adolf Hitler in the movie.That was a bit over the top, and it could prove offensive to a lot ofpeople. Personally I found it to be annoying. Why would Adolf Hitler beon a cruiseship? He died in 1945, come on. And even if so, by the timethat have passed since 1945 his reanimated body would be no more than abones, not a fresh cadaver walking around spreading hate.If you are a zombie fan and got an weird addiction to low budget moviesthat deviate from the mass market produced movies, then give "ZombieDriftwood" a go, otherwise there isn't much to come after here in thismovie.

i-obi (2012-04-03 08:10)

A hilarious introduction to the world of the ZomCom

This is a fun zombie romp perfect for those who don't take themselvestoo seriously and have a heightened sense of the ridiculous. Make nomistake, it is a super low budget movie with some creditableperformances from a completely unknown main cast and from a cast ofzombie extras who are clearly having a great time putting on a show forthe cameras. The jokes which are liberally sprinkled throughout thefilm consist of the more obvious groan-worthy puns (which are as subtleas the proverbial sledge hammer) and the hidden gems you have to lookfor throughout the film. That's what keeps you watching ZombieDriftwood - you won't believe what's coming next.This was my first experience of the Zombie Comedy, and my verdict isthat it's well worth watching for a laugh.

prm098 (2012-03-30 22:04)

Go and enjoy . . .

If zombies exist then they should be like this! A tongue in cheek rompon an exotic island that throws in fistfuls of jokes for those who liketheir humour to rattle! When zombies turn up at Driftwood beach bar onparadise island, it is every man and woman for him/herself especiallyonce they have acquired a taste for alcohol. With handcuffed lovers,sexy dolls, a throbbing 'October File' soundtrack and a Scottishbagpipe thrown in for good measure, chaos soon engulfs the peacefulidyll. A bizarre bunch of alcohol-sodden beach bar regulars andvisiting star crossed lovers are thrown a into life or death battlewith the craziest group of zombies that ever graced a screen. They shoptill they get chopped and eventually even insist that although they mayhave no brains they have, well, zombie rights.If you like your humour poured on and your zombies merciless you can'tgo wrong. Go and enjoy . .

Jill Smith (2012-03-29 23:18)

I am the first person not involved with this film to comment

I am a huge zombie film fan and I have to say this one is unwatchable.It is not funny, scary, clever or even so bad it's good. This is justlow rent garbage with nothing to offer at all.If you want a funny zombie film go watch: Shaun of the Dead, Army ofdarkness , Evil Dead 1&2, Dellamorte Dellamore, Zombieland ,Dead Snow,Black Sheep, Slither, Fido, Doghouse or Braindead/Dead Alive.If camp is not your thing and you want a scary or interesting film gowatch: Dawn Of The Dead 2004 UNRATED, Dawn of the dead (1978),28 WeeksLater, The Dead Outside, Shock Waves, Outpost, Mulberry Street,Lifeforce, Deathwatch, Dead and Buried and of course Night of theLiving Dead.